Relationship

I saw you dancing out the ocean
Running fast along the sand
A spirit born of earth and water
Fire flying from your hands

In the instant that you love someone
In the second that the hammer hits
Reality runs up your spine
And the pieces finally fit

And all I ever needed was the one
Like freedom fields where wild horses run
When stars collide like you and I
No shadows block the sun
You're all I've ever needed
Baby you're the one

There are caravans we follow
Drunken nights in dark hotels
When chances breathe between the silence
Where sex and love no longer gel

For each man in his time is Cain
Until he walks along the beach
And sees his future in the water
A long lost heart within his reach

I was listening to this song by Elton John and thrilling thoughts took my breath.

When I was young my spirit used to play along the ocean sand. I dreamed of love and God and romance in the embrace of earth, sea and fire.

The reality of the Spirit and His grand plan for me ran like shivers up my spine and there the pieces fit together and made sense.

In those times I felt God with me—that He was all I ever needed. In His presence I could run like a wild horse on the plains and the sun always shone. I thought my heart would burst!

But in the passing years life crushed those joys to phantoms in my mind and I followed caravans into gloom and shadow where God seemed distant. My youthful experience no longer felt real and love, an illusion. Oh! The horror and drunkenness of that path! I staggered in the fog where I could not see. Fate played strong and Providence silent.

And so, like Cain, I walked a dark path where God was far away— until that thrilling day when I came again to the sea and there, like a dying man, drank in the color of God’s eyes in the water, sand and sun. Emotion now overwhelms me! The future I once saw really is there and not just a young man’s fantasy; a dream fancied long ago; an apparition forever scattered in shadows that blocked the Sun! My long lost heart is still within my reach. He is still all I ever need. He is still the One.

I’ll miss you, if you go away
I’ll miss your serenity
Your words like songs in the wind
And Love, that you take away.

I’ll miss you, if you go away
Now and forever I don’t know how to live
And joy, my friend, goes away with you

I’ll miss you, I’ll miss you, because you go away
Because the love in you is dead
Because, because...
Nothing it’s gonna change, I know
And inside of me I feel you

I’ll miss the immensity
Of our days and nights, us together
Your smiles when it’s getting dark
Your being naive like a little girl

I’ll miss you, my love
I look at myself and I find emptiness inside of me
And joy, my friend, goes away with you

I was looking at the words to Josh Groban’s song, Mi Mancherai, and I started thinking about our relationship with God.

God is the one who longs for communion with us. And I got to thinking about what I would hear if I could sneak up on God some evening and listen as He grieves over Lucifer, Judas, King Saul or the rich young ruler:

“I miss you. When you left you took with you a part of my life. The joy of your presence is gone and there is no one who can take your place. One of life’s most wonderful dreams has crumbled to ashes in my hands and it is hard to bear the thought that I have lost, in this universe, your love.

And oh, how much I want to hold you and to feel the warmth of your hand in mine. I watch the couples strolling in the evening by the river and I often wonder what it would be like if you were here—if mine were the arms about your waist and yours were the eyes gazing into mine. I guess it is true—that now and forever there is a part of me that doesn’t know how to live and, missing you, a tear slips down the cheek of my consciousness. I can’t escape it—inside of me I still feel you.

I still miss the immensity of who you were and are to me. I look inside myself and find emptiness—a longing for something essential and wonderful that is missing—something that I would have had I had not lost you.

My heart is torn within Me My beloved! I’ve lost you and often in the midst of some romantic night grief takes Me. The truth of it still haunts me—you are gone and I realize that a special part of me has left with you. My tears fall over your lifeless love and my sobs break on the darkness. I am overwhelmed because I miss you.”

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine

You are forever mine

Brandon sent me a link to Chris Tomlin’s music video and it really moved me. Especially the last verse: “But God, who calls me here below, will be forever mine.” God calls me? What is He calling me too? The last part of the verse tells me. If God is forever mine then I can also say that I am forever His. Remember the verse in Song of Solomon? We sing it sometimes. “I’m my beloved’s and he is mine, and his banner over me is love.” That is the way love works. It is an unending circle of relationship.

Crazy thoughts played in my mind today: How can I can live forever and never stub my toe or smash up my spaceship cruising through Orion ? Often in the past I’ve thought it was because the universe is somehow more perfect in the future than now. But then the truth washed over me like a meteor shower in Andromeda: It is because of my relationship with God that I am not hurt! How could I be? In that circle He will be my protector in the future even as He has promised to be now.

God is calling me here below—calling me to a relationship. He chooses to be forever mine.

As you know, I have been busy writing a book on Lord of the Rings. I have had many incredible insights as I have written it. In this adventure one concept strikes me hardest. If I fail to choose to develop the relationships in my life—most importantly my relationship with God, there is no doubt that I will shipwreck my life. Of all of the characters in Lord of the Rings, from Frodo to Saruman, it came down to the same decision. “Will I choose my own selfish way or choose to spend myself in selfless, self sacrificing relationships?”

You guys know the outcome of their decisions well. Even the strongest could not escape the sure result of their choices. Do you think we can?

I would love to show you
If you'll try to understand
You need someone to lead you
To the heaven in your hands

You can try to make it on your own
But if you ever change your mind
Then you will never be alone
Don't get left behind

We can be together
If you'd only realise
The way to live forever
Is to give away your life

Wherever you go, always in my heart
Forever with me, we would never be apart
I want you to know, always on my mind
Whatever you do

I know that I have found no ordinary love
So will you try to understand
The love that I can give, will never be enough
And I can never change your mind
Don't get left behind

So what is a relationship? I love the words to this song. This song is one of my favorites because it talks about what a relationship is. It is to need someone, to want someone, to desire someone so much that I never want to be apart. More than that, it involves my desperate hope that they will feel the same about me.

But above all, it is to choose not to live for myself—to make it on my own. There is only one way to live forever and that is in giving my life to others in relationships. Jesus said, “He who selfishly loves his life shall lose it; but he that gives away his life—reckless in his love—will have it forever!”

If I choose to spend myself with abandon on a connection with God and with others, I will participate in a circle of love and life that can never die but will continue its ebb and flow in a dance that is eternal.

That’s all God wants for me—an endless, intimate play of love or, like Ty Gibson so poetically puts it, an endless falling in love. But only if I choose.